Protected Species

I know I’m not the only person to think animals are like people. Truthfully, I think animals are better than their mammal counter parts… the human.

The other night I was at a friend’s house when I heard the most aggressive bark I have ever heard. A resounding, “Get the hell out of my yard!” Bark. What made it so interesting was the “barkee” was a Yorkshire Terrier, couldn’t have weighed more than 10 pounds I’m guessing, wet. He tore throw the garden, wiggled through the hole in the chain link fence, and charged a BEAR! The bear couldn’t have weighed more than 400 pounds I’m guessing, wet or dry. The startled bear immediately shimmied up a tall tree for his own safety. The tiny warrior remained vigilant at the base of the tree calling him all sorts of names I can only image. The frightened bear clung on to the thin branch for dear life. It was inspiring, to witness what this animal was willing to do to protect his family. It was David versus Goliath. Not being able to hold on, the bear tumbled down the tree trunk and ran away, the dog fast on his heals.

“That’s right Big Guy, get outta here!”

I have a rescued golden retriever, Lucky, with protective instincts to revival the Yorkie. As the sun rose this morning, I heard a commotion. From my window I saw a large well fed coyote in my backyard hunting for his next meal. Lucky barreled out the back door and attacked the coyote. These two distant cousins were about the same size and stature. They rolled, limbs flailing like a cartoon. The coyote yelped, hopped over the fence and was gone.

“You’re not eating my cats, not on my watch.”

My cats are equally loyal, and fierce killers. The carnage is overwhelming, rats, birds, lizards, sometimes whole, sometimes just parts. Mae is deceptively small, demure, but she is like the Gestapo, delivering her victim in a state of almost dead, letting it drop to the floor with a lifeless thud.

“I found zis intruder on za property. I played with zit for a bit to show ze other raaats a lesson, see vat vill happen to you.  Ve are safe now.”

To the contrary Skippy is brawny for a feline. Without fail he must deliver something to me during a every gathering. Most recently at my son’s graduation party.

He strutted calmly through the house with the deceased oversized rodent hanging from his mouth, not letting all the screaming guests deter him until he found me.  Modeled after Luca Brasi he dropped the rat at my feet and stood before me,

“I am honored and grateful Godmother that you have invited me to the graduation of your eldest son. And I hope his first child be a masculine child. I pledge my ever-ending loyalty.”

While I fetched a bag and a shovel, the other “pets” looked at him and shook their heads.

“He’s is gonna sleep with the fishes if he keeps that up.”

Hmmm, the next morning I found a dead rat in the pool.

Live with waffletude

7 thoughts on “Protected Species

    • I think you left off your name. Most people that have problems with people address them rather than leave an anonymous comment. It’s the nice neighborly thing to do.


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