Spring Break

What happened to the good old days when my kids were younger? Spring break meant going to the zoo, the beach, having a picnic in the park. Now each day needs to be filled with one big activity after another. Or worse filling it with some big trip.

I overheard Daisy and Dewy talking in the car.

“Did you know the Jones are going to Belize for spring break?”

“No way, John’s family is going to Hawaii.”

“Susan’s family is going to San Diego.”

“Really? That’s too bad.”

Too bad? What’s happening?

“Mom, where are we going?”

“Going?”

“We have to go somewhere.”

“Why? Just because everyone else does? Let’s be original. Let’s stay home. There’s Spring Cleaning. It will be fun!”

“Really? It’s so boring.”

And there it was the look of total unfiltered disdain. It would have been better if I had said, “Let’s kill the dog, and eat him.”

These were desperate times, desperate measures…I did what anyone would have done. I called these parents.

“Hi, I’ve heard you’re going to Hawaii for spring break I was wondering if you could tell my kids you were going someplace less fun, less exotic. Like say North Korea. Please it would just make it better for me, and quite frankly for all of us who are staying home and forced to be eclipsed by your full moon’s shadow.

Surprisingly not warmly received.

It was up to me.

“So kids, did you hear the Smiths are going on this great trip to Afghanistan where they are going to clean up the the homes destroyed by endless fighting? Now doesn’t staying home where its safe sound a whole lot better?”

“No, that sounds awesome.”

“You mean you would rather go to a war zone and clean houses than stay home for Spring Break.”

“Yeah.”

And that is when it hit me.  A plan so divisive, so sinister, that only a mother could think of it.

“Then let’s do it. It is the latest craze you know. I think it was called KleanHouz.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I might be paraphrasing a bit, but I think you are right, a great adventure. But you realize there is training involved.”

“Training?”

“Well yeah. You’re going to be doing huge amounts of cleaning and organizing peoples’ things, their “war ravaged stuff.” Clothes, their closets need to be sorted out and cleaned, everything will have to be hung with care, old clothes thrown away. Toys gone through and old games, you get the picture.

“Wow, Mom you’re right.” Dewey said.

“Well you better get started. Of course we will have to submit photographs of our living environment to prove we are up for the task.”

“Ok, I’ll start on my closet. Do you have trash bags?”

“I like how you are thinking Daisy. More Kool-Aid dear?””

“I’ll start on the garage.”

My eyes filled with tears ”I love you so much.”

Next is summer…maybe a remodel.

 

Live with waffletude

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